Can't Come Back
by Mekogirl
Summary: Takes place after Civil War, Tony can't cope.


_Where'd you go?  
I miss you so  
Seems like it's been forever  
That you've been gone_

Six months, four days, and nine hours since Tony felt his world shatter to the ground. Steve was dead, there was no bringing him back, Tony knew this but he tired like hell to bring him back. Trying to reverse death like it was the easiest in the world.

"Sir I have been told to inform you that dinner has been prepared and set out" J.A.R.V.I.S informed him. Tony only sighed and straightened his back.

"Not tonight Jarvis, not hungry and I think I may be onto something" Tony went back to work on a small metal box trying to block out the world again.

"sir its been 49 hours since you had any sort of nourishment, and 60 hours since you last bathed or slept, I believe it would be in your best interest to tend to one of those." His AI insisted trying to get him to listen. Though getting Tony to listen and reason was a harder task then stopping Loki.

"Noted, still not gonna happen." This time he didn't look up, and JARVIS didn't push. If he had looked up he would have noticed Thor enter the lab. He snuck up behind Tony and quickly picked him up and threw him over and on his shoulder. This action cause Tony to scream and flail.

"Calm down Man of Iron, it is only I" Thor said in his big booming voice, but it was still quieter then his normal voice as if he were trying to not scare him anymore.

"I know Thor but I still want you to put me down!" he yelled and tried to wiggle his way out of Thor's grip, but to no avail. This had caused Thor to laugh, he was brought to the main dinning area. Where the rest of the team was seated and he was put down into a chair between Bruce and Natasha. He grumbled under his breath and glared at everyone at the table. It was quiet, a deafening quiet and Tony hated it. He wanted Steve, he wanted to be able to laugh with all his friends again without the memories flooding back to him. He took a deep breath making sure his voice wouldn't crack as he spoke "well I'm here, don't just stare at me, I'm not some freak, I'm fine" his voice raised slightly at the end. Like it normally did when he lied, but only Steve really ever knew that.

Clint was the first to speak "That is complete bull shit and you know it." Clint wasn't the most subtle whenever he tried to help his friends, but it always worked for him in a way. Tony shot him a look as did Natasha. A look that said 'shut up or I will send you into next week', and indeed Clint didn't say anymore for the moment.

"Tony we know you're not, none of us are, we know you loved him and still do..." she took a breath "but he's gone" she felt her eyes water. Like everyone else it had been hard to come to terms that Steve was gone. Though she knew it was harder for Tony, everyone knew.

"Tony its impossible to bring him back, its been proven" Bruce added putting his hand on Tony's shoulder. Tony felt his eyes begin to water, no , hell no he was not about to show them that he's broken.

He shot up from his chair "shut up, just shut up. You don't know what your talking about, none of you do! He's not gone! I can bring him back just watch me!" he yelled and pushed away his chair trying to leave. He stumbled a bit and landed on his hands and knees and cried harder. "he cant be gone, he just can't be. He promised he wouldn't." sobs wracked his body and he began to shake as the warm tears flowed down his cheeks and landed on the wood floor.

 _She said, "Some days I feel like shit"  
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit"  
I don't understand why you have to always be gone  
I get along but the trips always feel so long  
And, I find myself tryna stay by the phone  
'Cause your voice always helps me when I feel so alone  
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call  
But when I pick up I don't have much to say  
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up  
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin'  
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career  
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"_

The dinning area was silent except for Tony's sobs. The rest of the team looked at each other not exactly knowing what to do. Clint was the first to stand up and walk over to his friend and sit next to him before embarrassing him in a tight hug. "let me go" Tony tried to push him away but Clint only hugged tighter. One by one everyone else stood up and engulfed Tony in a hug. Since the day he saw Steve get lowered into the ground he cried. He let the grief he built up inside out, not caring if his friends see. "I want him back" his sobs getting quieter "god I just want him back, his hugs, kisses, everything" he balled his fists up.

"We want him back too, more then anything" Clint whispered, and hugged him tighter.

Tony knew eventually he'd have to come to terms with the fact that Steve was gone and there was no way to bring him back and it would be a long, tough road to get to that point, but he also knew his friends would be there to make sure he'd get there.

"I miss you so much Steve"

 _I miss you so  
Seems like it's been forever  
That you've been gone  
Where'd you go?  
I miss you so,  
Seems like it's been forever  
That you've been gone  
Please come back home_


End file.
